Others will always ask you for a favor and of course you will do the same. There is no shame in putting yourself first. I understand that your parents expressed that your needs were not important or fell for the illusion that putting others first benefits you. This is not true. You are a kind human being. When someone turns down a favor you ask for, you don’t get upset—you understand and move on. There is not one thought about this person that they are mean or a jerk. Just why do you? They don’t care. Why do you place the needs of other first and not yours? No that is not right. Don’t. Your needs are important. Family might support you—but not always in the ways you need, or all the way. They do support you but not all the way. Prioritize your habits. Put your energy into your own goals first. Your time matters. They will pass away. Do you first. They look and add the pressure because they want to manipulate you. Don’t break. Don’t break. You are first. Because when you are first you feel relief. So, the next time someone ask you for a favor ask yourself does this benefit me? Am I doing this for myself. Do your tasks first because no one else will.
The reality is that your family will pass away. Your parents and grandparents so why focus on their validation. They have completed their own goals and desires. They live thru their life. So, there is no point to think about their emotions, expectations, judgement, and pressures. This is your life not theirs or anyone else. They don’t know you, but you know you. You are never wrong about yourself. Don’t abandon yourself.