I know you messed up. I know you hate it. I know you’re frustrated and disappointed. I know the feeling you’re experiencing is that of being lost — lost in the life you’re trying to fix, the expectations you’re trying to meet. It makes it feel like nothing has changed.
But you have to let go of that feeling.
I understand that you’re doing what you’re told — but that’s where you’re mistaken. Meditation and journaling won’t instantly make you like the dream girls you follow online. However, they do help you process your emotions.
No one is out to make your life a living hell. You’re not someone who intentionally makes things worse for others — you’re focused on your own healing.
Of course, there will be times when you make mistakes. But there’s no point in holding onto them. It’s not healthy. Growth comes from learning the lesson, not clinging to the shame.
Show more compassion to yourself — not to give yourself a free pass, but because real change doesn’t come from harshness. The emotional brain doesn’t respond well to coldness or cruelty. Treat yourself like a friend:
“Hey, you messed up. Okay… so what? You have the privilege to move forward. Shake it off. Try again.”
This mistake is not who you are. It never was.
If you were also your parent, or if this was your child — would you treat them this harshly? No.
This is your life. No one else can carry you through it — and that’s okay. You’ve survived worse. You carry your own wounds, your own traumas. But remember — so do the women you look up to.
If they’ve been where you are, then that means you’re capable of getting to where they are.
Parents often tell their children not to make mistakes in order to protect them. But that sends the wrong message: that all mistakes are bad. And that’s not true.
Nothing good comes from dwelling on the past. It drains you. It wastes the present moment.
What’s worked for me is to apologize to myself for the mistake, and then say, “Next time, I’ll do better.”
If perfection is what we think we want — it’s not. What we actually crave is evolution.
And mistakes are what lead to that.